Do you have problem differentiating between true love and infatuation? You are at the stage of getting confused whether you really love someone or not. We have compiled some of the key determinant that explain the differences between true love and infatuation.
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Open to trying something new vs. closed to new experiences
When both partners are able to access a vulnerable, open, and energetic part of themselves that is eager for new experiences, the relationship flourishes. We don’t have to like and do everything our partner likes, but trying new things together, going on adventures, and shaking up routines can give any relationship a much-needed boost.
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Non-defensiveness and openness vs. angry reactions to feedback
To keep their relationship strong, couples need to be able to communicate openly with one another, which includes accepting each other’s opinions and criticisms without becoming defensive or discouraging. Dr. Lisa Firestone recommends that partners try to find the grain of truth in their partner’s words. This is a fact that can give us insight into the ways in which we may be unwittingly pushing our partner away. We don’t have to agree with our partner in order to show them that we value and appreciate them by simply listening to them. However, if we punish our partner when they are open and honest with us, we end up with a communication breakdown.
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Understanding vs. misunderstanding
It’s easy to make assumptions about our spouse based on our own experiences or to misinterpret their words in order to validate our own feelings of hurt or attack. Also, it is simple to fail to consider the viewpoint of another and remain fixed on one’s own. We are fundamentally incompatible since we are two distinct individuals with independent minds. To be successful, though, we must make an honest effort to see things from our partner’s perspective. When our counterpart feels heard and appreciated, they are more apt to soften and consider our point of view.
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Honesty and integrity vs. deception and duplicity
Truthfulness is a value instilled in most of us from a young age. But as grownups, we’re often dishonest in our closest relationships. When we lie to our significant others, we hurt not only them but also the relationship and ourselves. For a relationship to progress to the point where each partner can feel safe enough to be vulnerable, honesty is a prerequisite to building trust.
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Physical affection and personal sexuality vs. lack of affection and inadequate, impersonal, or routine sexuality
Affection has a significant role in romantic interactions. When we close off our hearts to our romantic feelings, it can have a numbing effect on the relationship. The attraction between us and our spouse fades as a result. Both partners may experience a decline in their level of satisfaction if sexual activity becomes ordinary or impersonal. To keep love alive, one must maintain contact with the parts of oneself that crave physical contact and are open to giving and receiving affection.
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Non-controlling, non-manipulative and non-threatening behaviors vs. manipulations of dominance and submission
Typical marital dynamics involve one partner taking on the role of parent and the other of child. They both look to the other for direction but end up resenting the other for exerting authority. On the other hand, one party may try to exert authority over the issue while simultaneously accusing the other of being apathetic, immature, or irresponsible. Loving relationships require mutual respect and consideration for each partner. Neither party is having an adult, equitable, and loving relationship when one party attempts to control or manipulate the other by, for example, yelling and screaming or stonewalling and playing the victim.