Researchers at the prestigious Gottman Institute for the Study of Couples and Family have concluded that “In only 9 percent of relationships, both spouses are fully present. Because of this, misunderstandings occur in 91% of all human encounters.” One contributing factor is the inevitable upkeep required in any committed partnership, regardless of how long you’ve been together or how many children you have. If you want fewer disagreements in your marriage, try implementing some of these suggestions for improving communication.
Don’t Expect Your Spouse to Read Your Mind
In a family, everyone has a specific job to do. It’s possible that your husband takes care of the kitchen duties while you handle the dishes. If you and your partner have a shared list of chores, your laundry might be on your end and your spouse’s might be in the yard. In spite of the fact that you all have weekly responsibilities that you usually handle alone, there will inevitably come a time when you will require some more manpower. Don’t take it for granted that your partner understands what you’re going through.
In a family, everyone has a specific job to do. It’s possible that your husband takes care of the kitchen duties while you handle the dishes. If you and your partner have a shared list of chores, your laundry might be on your end and your spouse’s might be in the yard. In spite of the fact that you all have weekly responsibilities that you usually handle alone, there will inevitably come a time when you will require some more manpower. Don’t take it for granted that your partner understands what you’re going through.
Keep in mind that just because something seems obvious to you, doesn’t mean your spouse will automatically think to do it if they don’t do it every day. Avoid waiting for someone to notice and respond to your requirements by shouting them from the rooftops.
Check In Regularly
Expressing your wants and needs to your partner is only part of effective communication. This is a way of demonstrating your concern for them. Use some of your day to check in and see how they’re doing. Just type out “I love you” and hit send. Put up a humorous TikTok or online meme. Provide them with information on a film that could be of interest to them. Small acts like these can go a long way toward letting your partner know they are at the forefront of your thoughts.
Take Possession of Your Feelings
Everybody has a terrible day every now and again. Compose a “I” statement to help you work through your emotions while you air your complaints. Use the sentence “I have been struggling with the kids today and I would love a little help” goes a lot further than “You never pitch in when you get home. Don’t you realize how hard this is for me?”
It’s unfair to think that your spouse knows what happened or that they can assist you out when they weren’t with you for most of the day. Don’t try to shift the blame for your issues onto your partner. Taking the initiative can help you and your spouse communicate more effectively and reduce arguments.
Anticipate Your Partner’s Needs
55% of communication is non-verbal; did you know that? Taking into account the unsaid might help couples enhance their marriage’s communication. Do you think the house is a mess? Do your children typically test your patience? Is your partner extremely busy at work right now?
You’ve joined forces with another person. Learn to read your partner’s nonverbal clues for what they need and take the lead. If your wife hasn’t gone grocery shopping yet, pick up some food on your way home from work. When your husband is expected to work late, it’s important that you help the kids with their homework. The sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, so you should clean them up. When your partner’s emotional reserves are depleted, don’t wait for them to reach out to you for support.
Did we mention that males who pitch in around the house also tend to report happier sex lives? Regular and equal contributions from both partners free up time for various forms of non-verbal interaction.